Valentine’s Day is over. The cards have been read, the chocolates have been eaten, and the roses are already starting to wilt. It’s back to real life now.
But the romance doesn’t have to be gone. This Valentine’s Day, we chose not to celebrate. It wasn’t because we don’t love each other. It’s because we show it every day. We’ve made it a priority in our relationship to put each other first before all else. Mr. Cozy Cottage is my partner, my teammate, my biggest cheerleader. He spoils me by the way that he treats me, and I always feel like I’m doing an inadequate job of spoiling him. But to hear him talk, I’m spoiling him more. He tells anyone who will listen how amazingly wonderful I am, and that makes me feel wonderful. And I want to spoil him even more.
Here are some easy ways to make your man feel like he’s the shining star in your life.
Wake him up cheerily.
Mr. Cozy Cottage could be a professional sleeper if you let him. And when he works 12-hour days, it’s difficult to get him up and moving the next morning. I’m not sure why I started waking him with a hot cup of coffee (made just right), but I’ve been doing it from the beginning. I turn on the lights, set his coffee down, and gently rouse him from sleep. I’ll scratch his back, wish him good morning, ask him how he slept, and he’ll respond in his usual grumbly way until the coffee hits his system. It makes for a very pleasant day when you wake him up calmly and happily. Even if you have to nag him, do it kindly.
Let him know you’re thinking of him.
When I send his lunch to work, I usually include a cute note. It may be hours before he reads it, but I know it will bring a smile to his face when he’s exhausted. Send him random “I love you” text messages or funny things you find online. It means more than you think.
Do something special for them every day.
Yesterday, Mr. Cozy Cottage mentioned something about decluttering the area of the bedroom that had become a catch-all. We’ve both been busting our humps here lately. Busy season has officially hit for him, and I’ve been working longer hours since my job is in liquidation and trying to get a blog and business off the ground…all while taking care of the house. It’s difficult for me to keep up with the normal maintenance cleaning, let alone deep clean a room. But I did it anyway. I could tell it bothered him. He came home, saw the freshly cleaned and decluttered bedroom and I could actually see him breathe a happy sigh. It made him feel good that I paid attention to his needs. But you can do lots of things for him: make him Jello jigglers in a cute mold, cook him a special meal, wash his car, pick him up his favorite candy bar. They take a few minutes of your time, but the results are well worth it.
Let him breathe.
After a long day, the last thing anyone wants to do is immediately handle problems when they walk in the door. Let him come home and relax, destress from the day, and THEN you can discuss things with him. Mr. Cozy Cottage seems to get really frustrated when you present him problems before he’s relaxed. He’s much more open and receptive when he’s calmed down and started to settle in for the night. With his crazy schedule, I make sure to keep his moods in mind before discussing anything of importance.
Let him play.
I know he loves you and you two are soulmates and that you love to do EVERYTHING together. But after a while, don’t you miss having a cup of coffee with a girl friend? Or having a girls night out? You guy wants that opportunity too. We try to set aside a day each week where he can go ride his Harley with his friends, or go out to a bar with his buddies. At first when I encouraged his “Guy Days”, he was suspicious. Most women say it’s okay, but then halfway through they get upset that he actually went and had fun without her. Mean it when you say you want him to go out and have fun. You can even use that time to plan an outing for yourself. Just as we set aside a weekly date, we set aside a weekly time to do our own thing. Our relationship – and his happiness – are better for it.
Learn about his interests.
I LOVE history. So does he. But what we like about history are two vastly different things. I love learning about people and societies and cultures. He loves learning about weapons and transportation. So to meet in the middle, I started learning about the weapons and transportations in the cultures I was interested in to show him that he could talk to me about what he liked. It was the same way with motorcycles. I could tell you how to ride one or what part of the engine does what, but I know what looks good. Even just learning a little will open up a new route of communication.
Keep him in mind while you’re decorating.
Before we moved in together, he had an honest to goodness Man Cave in the basement of his home. He downsized into the little cottage we’re living in now, and lost that. So when I moved in and started making the house a home, I thought about the things he liked. I hung beautiful moss green lace curtains on the windows with a cheerful valance. I put scented candles on figurines in places to be displayed, along with pictures of family and friends. But I also included his giant Harley Davidson poster, his prized KISS figurines (still in the box), and his bass guitars. The mixture of feminine and masculine provided us with an environment that both of us could rest comfortable. If your room is full of pink, lace, and ruffles, he’s just not going to feel at home in a room he thinks he’s going to break.
Do things together that he enjoys.
We go antiquing or shopping at thrift stores at least once a month. I LOVE it, and I would do it every day if I could. He, on the other hand, enjoys it but not as much as me. On the flip side, he enjoys going out for a drink, grilling out for a ton of friends, or going to a bike rally. While I enjoy all of those things, I just don’t enjoy them to the extent that he does. But I make sure to do them because he wants me at his side. Just make sure that it’s not one-sided. Don’t do everything he wants to do and never anything you want to do. There has to be a balance.
Tell him his worth.
He works hard. He provides you with a good life. He has a hobby he enjoys. Make sure you tell him you’re proud of him. Men don’t hear that often enough. I get caught up with the day-to-day, and I forget to tell him from time to time. But if he changes the oil or fixes the broken light socket, make sure to let him know he did well.
No, I don’t just mean sex. We women love hugs and kisses, that moment he puts his hand in the small of your back to lead you into a room, holding hands in the car. Men love it too. They need the physical attention outside the bedroom as much as we do. Play with his hair, tickle his belly, attack him with kisses…it all adds up. On top of your relationship improving, your love life likely will too.
Give him something good to look at.
I adore my flannel pants. And that oversized, long-sleeved shirt that’s just sooooo comfy. Oh, and my fuzzy socks that don’t match either the pants or the shirt. And if it’s really cold, I love my fleece footie pajamas. And if I could just wear my curly, wild hair in a bun all the time, I would. Thankfully, Mr. Cozy Cottage accepts me for who I am, including my love for blue jeans and t-shirts. I’m a housewife; my wardrobe is practical and comfortable. But every now and then I surprise him. I fix myself up – do my hair, makeup, pick out something cute to wear – and I get to witness him fall in love with me all over again. Not only do I look good (I better after that much work!) but he appreciates the effort it took for me to do that. I took time out of my busy day to give him something prettier-than-usual to come home to. It speaks volumes to them.
We both attempt to do this every day for each other, and it goes so far. By changing the way you treat him in simple ways, you improve your relationship drastically. Do you have any other ways to spoil him?